It's more terrifying than beautiful lately, because one or two memories I desperately want to bury keep popping out like fireworks. My heart throbs while my throat feels lumpy. 

I knew that the world didn't revolve around me, but when I got a glimpse of hope that I might become someone important to at least one person, I kept being swayed and yearned to be the one. But dear, life was not going my way. 

Thus, I decided to surround myself with a high, invincible wall to protect myself from being hurt. I thought building a wall brick by brick would lead me to peace, although I would be lonely. But dear, life is not going my way. 

Pushing everyone away and not acknowledging their support, not only leads me to loneliness but also keeps me astray. I just don't want to get hurt, but it seems like I can't afford the price. I've been going too far; the path I've been on seems so hazy and like I'm falling into despair. Now I have become lethargic and yet shamelessly still yearn for the will to live.

Why do I need to think in this complicated manner while all I need is to cry my heart out? Haih..