I AM SANE BUT OVERWHELMED


Pict credit to Lin Wilder.

Hi guys,
Long time no see. I will post this thread in english, so sorry for the inconvenience but you can translate this page right away.

Here i want to share my story being called crazy for sought help from mental health professional. I will not share the whole story, but if you are going through the same thing as i had, i hope it helps.

I actually kind of moved on from my past and accepted everything that had happened to me, so it's somewhat comfortable to talked about my past with whoever asked me (only when they ask). I feel unworry and relaxed talking about my PTSD and how i seek professional help to fix my "conditions."

For like a year or so, none of my listener, never once, judged or called me crazy for going to psychologist and got some treatment. But you know? we never knew what others thought about us.

So ya, about a week ago, someone called me crazy and she told me i deserve every calamity in my life. That night i cried alot. I feel attacked.

There were bunch of things entered my mind like a heavy stream. Most of it started with "why"...

I asked myself, "am i wrong for wanting to live and survive, why is my existence itself hurt someone." or "what did i do so wrong to them?"  or "perhaps, every time i talked about my life story, everyone thought that i was crazy and they just did not tell."

When i felt so down, i used to be so negative toward myself.  Speaking of it, asking yourself, "why everything doesn't go well?" should be the most avoided things when you felt down because you will never find the answer, even if you find it, it will never satisfy you, you'll craving more just to feed your ego. That's what i learned.

I'M SANE BUT OVERWHELMED


I'm sane but overwhelmed is a lyric in one of Alanis Morissette song, titled Hand in My Pocket. It's a good song you need to check it out.

Well the heading somehow wrap everything up.

I have been thinking about it this whole week that no, i'm not crazy for seeking any professional help to fix my mental health conditions. I actually sane enough to understand of what i need the most when i started to live my life like a zombie.

Yep, we are sane but overwhelmed. I think it's okay to be not okay, it's okay not to be normal for a while, it's okay to cry, it's okay if at some point we feel that we hardly want to live and on the contrary we want to survive too.

Actually, going to psychologist was the most sane thing i have ever done. It's the most logical action i did when my surrounding started to looked and felt illogical to me. I survive and doing well. I'm not crazy just overwhelmed.

So don't be sad if someone calling you crazy for seeking professional help because you are sane. Without sanity you will not be aware with you current condition. Without sanity, you will not seek any professional help to assist you to get out from distraught.

We are doing great by accepting ourselves as a whole.

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2 komentar

  1. PTSD!!!
    PETER SAYS DENIM kah? Kkk

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am happy to hear these words from you! It is very important to be satisfied and little bit overwhelmed with something, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete

semoga bermanfaat
mohon kritik dan saran yang membangun ya :D
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